Road Trip!
by Death88
Summary: Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, and Shadow go on a road trip together. Violence, mayhem, and a home video of the entire thing.
1. Volkswagen Van and Egging the President

ROAD TRIP!

Written by Matt Duszynski (death88)

Co-Written by Salman Bashir (supersonic33342)

"Hey Tails."

"Yeah Sonic?"

"Let's go on a road trip!"

"That's a good idea. We'll take Knuckles and Shadow and cram in to my newly built Volkswagen van."

"Why did you build a Volkswagen?"

"Because people usually associate them with road trips."

"We'll have to say goodbye to the people we're leaving behind. Heh heh heh."

LATER

"Hey Amy!"

"Hi Sonic!"

"I just wanted to say SEE YA LATER SUCKER! ROAD TRIP! Tails, FLOOR IT!"

"SCREEEEEEE!"

The van zoomed off into the darkness.

"So, what's our first destination?"

"I thought we could drive along Route 101 and pull off at a random exit."

"Better then any idea we have."

LATER

ROUTE 101: VOLKSWAGEN

"Hey! Isn't that the president's limo?"

"Yeah! Let's go talk to him!"

"Boooooring! I have a better idea."

"Better than talking to him, Sonic?"

"Much better, Knuckles."

ROUTE 101: PREZ'S LIMO

"What the… a Volkswagen just cut us off! Who… why is Sonic standing up… oh my god they're egging the car!"

"Well pull away then! This limo is much faster than a VW van!"

"Yes sir, Mr. President. But I bet you didn't count on the van having jet engines, though."

"What? Is Tails driving?"

"I think so, Mr. President."

"Damn it. A Volkswagen with jet engines, Sonic, and Tails can only mean one thing. The Sonic Team is going on a road trip!"

EXIT 87

"Tails, what city are we in?"

"I don't know."

"Why did we let you drive?"

"Because I built this van."

"Well, we're here, aren't we?"

"Let's do something fun."

"You want anything from the cooler, Shadow?"

"Maybe a large bottle of KILL SONIC! I mean Coke."

"Okay… do you want ice with that?"

"Maybe a large shard of glass. I mean a straw."

"By the way, what's in the duffel bag?"

"Nothing, nothing. (AK-47 falls out) Shit."

LATER…

"Was it wise to kick Shadow out of the van?"


	2. Fan Characters and Flaming Vans

ROAD TRIP: PART TWO

AN UNEXPECTED ADDITION, AND THE WORLD'S STUPIDEST INVENTIONS

Written by Matt Duszynski (death88)

Co-Written by Salman Bashir (supersonic33342)

Matt: Holy shit! I just found this on my old hard drive and realized that it's been way too long since my last update. Review answering time.

Saith-chan: The story was originally designed to do just that.

blindflames: What can I say? Nothing.

Marie The Hedgecat: You bet I've seen Sonic: Uncut. 'Who says I have to use a straw? Real men use spoons, dammit!' Apologies to whoever created Sonic: Uncut for me not asking if I could use that tidbit.

Alicia Jewel: You were too lazy to login once, so you typed that five times? Anyway, I agree. Total randomness.

Skullkid: …but not the best.

And without further ado:

"Hey Sonic, let's go to the World's Stupidest Inventions Museum!"

"Take that, Knuckles! Oh crap, my rocket launcher's out of ammo!"

"Sonic, quit playing Halo 2 and say yes or no."

"I guess I'll just have to take you out in the real world, huh Knuckles."

"BRING IT ON! You can't beat me! OOF!"

"Guys? Quiet down. I said quiet. Guys? SHUT UP, WILL YOU? Oh, fine. Ignore me, why don't you. God dammit this was a dumb idea."

Tails pulled the van over to the side of the road, and opened the back doors. Sonic and Knuckles were destroying the interior of the van.

"What the hell are you doing to my van!"

"It's none of your damn business."

"Damn straight!"

"Let's watch the game!"

"Or, we can continue fighting."

"Damn straight!"

"GUYS, WOULD YOU STOP FIGHTING!"

"No chance."

The commotion attracted the attention of a purple echidna standing off to the side of the road, wearing a lavender dress with a blue jewel on her chest. She walked up to the van, mildly amused.

"You know, if I didn't know any better, I would say that those two were-"

Sonic poked his head out of the scuffle.

"Whoever is about to say that, you had better not! Tails, can you help me here?"

"Go to hell, Sonic. First you destroy the van, and then you yell at this person, and then you ask me to help beat up Knuckles! What the fck is wrong with you? I'm very sorry, but we seem to have a slight problem on our hands. You are…?"

"Alicia Jewel. Pleased to meet you."

There was a slight metal clank as she extended her hand. Tails stared at it.

"Your arm… is metal."

"And my leg. You'd think that's kind of obvious."

Sonic was finished tying up Knuckles, and jumped out of the van.

"What was that about… whoa. Your arm is metal."

"No duh. Is anyone going to shake, or am I going to rust in this position."

Knuckles hopped over, still tied to a chair.

"Cool metal arm. I'm Knuckles. Nice meeting you. Could you do me a favor and untie me so I can continue beating Sonic up?"

"Uh…"

"Alicia, please don't. They already wrecked the van once, and I can only repair it once. If you want to do a favor, keep them separate, or tie Sonic to a chair too."

"I'll make a deal. I'm looking to get as far away from here as possible, so if you let me come with you, I'll keep Sonic and Knuckles from beating each other up."

"Deal, but there's no way you could do that."

TEN MINUTES LATER…

After some muffled shouts, some thuds, and a loud report (gunshot), there was silence. Tails was amazed.

"Everyone alright back there?"

"Everything's fine!" Alicia's voice rang out.

A scuffling noise and another report followed.

"What's with the gunshots?"

"Don't worry, I haven't decapitated anyone… yet. Sonic, don't pull on that!"

"Tails, help! She found Shadow's AK-47!"

"Hey! I said quiet! (bang!)"

"Alicia, it's not really necessary to attempt to shoot them, just keep them quiet."

Sonic and Knuckles both broke their ropes at that moment.

"You're going down!"

"Bring it on!"

"SHUT UP BACK THERE!"

Another fight followed, destroying the van once more.

"AAAAGH! You made it worse! Now you guys breached the gas tank!"

"Quiet!"

"DON'T SHOOT THE GUN!"

"FOOSH!"

The van exploded, and flew into the air. Amazingly, it kept on flying.

"Hey! I can see my house from here!"

"Where?"

"That big castle."

"So, you're a princess?"

"That should be pretty obvious from the gold tiara on my head."

"Oh yeah… um… well… hey! I can see Shadow from here!"

"Who?"

"Shadow. We kicked him out of the van earlier."

"Ah. I think he can see us."

SHADOW'S POINT OF VIEW

"Hey! I would know that flaming Volkswagen van wreckage with license plate NP3-228 (reference to another show, guess which one) anywhere! That's the Volkswagen that Sonic kicked me out of! They're going down! Or up… forget it. YOU GUYS ARE DEAD! CHAOS CONTROL!"

"Shadow's gone!"

"No, I'm right here."

"Oh shit."

He grabbed his AK-47 and tried to fire.

"Click-click-click."

"Who wasted all my ammo?"

"SHE DID IT!"

"Why you little…!"

"Whoever you are, why'd you waste my ammo?"

"I was shooting at them."

"Oh. That's alright then. Hold my gun while I beat them up for kicking me out of the van."

Meanwhile, Tails is just sitting up front, staring.

'They really aren't focusing on priorities. I would run from the flames. Screw this. I can fly, and they're gonna die.'

Tails jumped out the door.

"Hey! Tails just jumped… OH MY GOD THE VAN IS ON FIRE! JUMP!"

'Screw that. Chaos Control!'

Just Sonic, Knuckles, and Alicia were left in the van.

"See ya Knuckles."

Sonic jumped out of the van.

"Remember kids, cool people don't use parachutes!"

Kazuma flies on-screen with a parachute.

"Yes they do! I learned that the hard way! You're gonna die!"

Kazuma exits by pulling the release lever on the chute and watching silverware fall out.

"OH CRAP!"

Knuckles flew by.

"Remember kids, Sonic's a moron. Use a parachute when you jump from a burning van five thousand feet up."

Just Alicia was left in the van.

"Wait up! (jumps) Oh crap, I don't have a parachute either! Remember kids, always pack an extra parachute!"

Down below was D. Jones Home-Made Manure Field.

"There's only one thing to do. Hey Sonic!"

"Yeah?"

"Catch!"

Alicia threw the jewel from her chest at Sonic. To make this seem funnier, the jewel nailed him in the head, knocking him out, and plummeted to earth.

"That figures. WE'RE GONNA DIE, unless Sonic's dead from the skull puncture already."

Suddenly, Knuckles drill drove (?) past.

"Need any help?"

"Yes."

"Grab on to my backpack straps, and hold tight."

Knuckles pulled the cord, and the canopy ejected.

MEANWHILE… WHEREVER THE HECK SHADOW IS

"Good thing I snagged this parachute, I'm still a thousand feet up."

Shadow pulled the cord, and an anvil ejected.

"Damn ACME parachutes. AAAAAH! (squish)"

AUTHOR'S NOTE: To avoid long and tedious parachute scene, we'll skip to the part where everyone's on the ground, safe.

"Dang, that was a once in a lifetime scene."

"Yeah, something like that'll never happen again!"

"(KO)"

"Sonic's KO'd"

"What was that purple thing, anyway?"

"Artificial chaos emerald. I carry it around as a memento of my past."

"Which is…"

"I can't say. Classified military secrets."

"What happened to Shadow?"

MEANWHILE… D. JONES HOME-MADE MANURE FIELD

"MANURE! I HATE MANURE! (another reference!)

Matt: And that's the end of the second chapter. One thing, PLEASE OH PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! I upgraded my computer, and my old hard drive kind of broke, with this saved on it. Just a few days ago, I got the data back, and I decided that I better update this before anyone that's still reading this comes flying at me with branding irons and swords.

Review that came in while I was typing:

Ur an a$$: That was uncalled for, and I was always planning on letting Shadow back in. I am making this story up myself, AND WOULD EVERYONE PLEASE NOT MENTION THE OBVIOUS SONIC: UNCUT RIPOFF! I SAID SORRY! And if the person that made Sonic: Uncut happens to review, I humbly beg to be allowed to keep that tidbit, as I find it extremely funny.

From now on, I plan to use minute references when I see appropriate. Until next time, SEE YA LATER!


End file.
